You know when you believe that they won’t hurt you… they probably will. Expecting someone that you love, that’s loves you back, expecting them to never hurt you is delusional. We’re all human, we are all capable of destruction. Some of us learn this the hard way… but the only way to get over hurtful events is to accept that it happened (this is the most important step) resisting change is foolish because change will occur whether you like it or not. You can either take that change and use it to your advantage (learn something from it) or you can wallow in your misery and let your life deteriote from there.

First I wouldn’t get outta bed. I would cry myself to sleep because I was in disbelief; I couldn’t accept the idea that the guy who loves me so much did this to me. And it still hurts, it really does. But I’ve accepted it. I don’t cry that much about it anymore, but then again it’s been three months. First month I drowned in my misery, second month I took up yoga to lower my anxiety (and it worked for me) and I smoke a lot of weed too so I guess that kinda just numbs it out. I don’t recommend doing drugs or drinking alcohol for your misery because it becomes habit and habits are hard to break

I’m in my third month now, I laugh more, I appreciate my surroundings, I work my ass off at school, but I still have moments of weakness. When familiar songs come on, when I read something, when I watch something, when my stories consist of me and him, when I smell his cologne.

It does get easier, it has gotten easier but it still really hurts but eventually I know there’s always light at the end of the tunnel and I can’t go down from here I can only go up. 

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